so there was this one day...

little squirts

Fri, 08 May 2009 06:49:26 GMT

this is too funny not to share!

for anybody that's ever changed a baby boy's diaper and missed this kind of event, you're lucky!

ENJOY!!!

brent rant

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 17:30:40 GMT

you know what? that man has some nerve. you'd think he'd grow up after acting like a damned temper tantrum throwing toddler since 1997 would stop but no.

i e-mail him two months in advance that i'm due the week jayge would get off for winter break so to not schedule a flight. do you think he's even a bit understanding that i physically wouldn't be able to take jayge to the airport? no. he jumps my crap instead accusing me of not making arrangements to get jayge to the hospital and that i'm "pawning" my responsibilities off onto him.

excuse me? since when have i "pawned jayge off" onto anybody? is the fact that jayge wants to stay to be here for the baby's first christmas a crime? do you think any judge in the nation would say that it is unrasonable of jayge to want to stay in texas for this?

i nailed him in e-mail though. i wasn't very nice about it since i copied his mom and wife on the response:

(original notification e-mail)

Brent -

Jayge's last day of school before Winter Break is December 19th (http://www.katyisd.org/files/main/calendars/District_calendar.pdf). However, my due date to deliver my second child is December the 16th. Please do NOT schedule a flight as I will be unable to take him to the airport or pick him up.

I am giving you one day shy of two months notice which should be ample notification and plenty of time for you to make alternate plans should you wish.

Thank you,

Jennifer

(he responds with...)

--- On Mon, 10/20/08, Angevine, Brent <brent.angevine@clear-rcic.org> wrote:

From: Angevine, Brent <brent.angevine@clear-rcic.org>
Subject: RE: Winter Break
To: geojaguar@yahoo.com
Date: Monday, October 20, 2008, 6:02 PM

Jennifer,

First, Congratulations. I hope everything goes well with that.

As for the rest..

I'm not sure I'm following you here. You are just going to leave Jayge at home by himself during this time? Are his needs not going to be met? He isn't going to have anyone looking after him while you are in the hospital? Nobody is going to transport him to see you? While you are making plans to ensure Jayge's needs are met you also need to ensure that your responsibilities with getting him here are met. It's ridiculous for you to try to pawn off your responsibility on me for something going on in YOUR private life. This has nothing to do with me. You have family and friends and you need to take responsibility and make sure you can uphold your side of the agreement you made. If you cannot, then maybe he needs to come up here and stay here until you are able to. You are responsible to make arrangements for this. If it were something going on up here to where I could not pick him up or drop him off I would make arrangements to get him to and from the airport. I've done this before, and so have you. For me to pawn that off on you would be completely irresponsible, so how do you not see how completely irresponsible you are being?

It just so happens that one of my best friends moved to Houston. I could arrange to have him pick Jayge up and take him to the airport, but for you to pawn off YOUR responsibilities on ME is ridiculous. Before I make these arrangements, please confirm for me again that you are unable to uphold your responsibilities and make arrangements with your friends or family. Do I also need to make plans for someone to transport him to and from the hospital or do you conveniently have that one covered but not this one?

-Brent

(so i responded with the spanking)

Thursday, October 23, 2008 8:45 AM

Brent -

Thank you and I appreciate your concern for Jayge's welfare during this upcoming time. He will be taken care of and for you to assume and blatantly accuse me otherwise was completely out of line.

After discussing the full options of going to Cincinnati or staying here with Jayge last night, he does NOT want to go to Ohio for Winter Break. Jayge was there for the twins' first Christmas and for you to demand he misses his new sibling's first Christmas is irrational. It is Jayge's very excited desire that he get to spend this Christmas with his new sibling and you need to respect that. His request would not be denied by any court as it is not absurd. Furthermore, Jayge is two years past the age where the courts will take into consideration his wishes as to how he wants to spend his vacation time. Please respect his wishes as you can no longer legally dictate what he does or does not do on his vacation time.

I am not sending him to Ohio for Winter Break against his wishes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As for your statement of my "pawning off your responsibilities onto me", please note that I was not the one that delayed a Winter Break visit an entire week because I ran off to ski with my buddies or took off for a vacation to Mexico "with my entire family [minus Jayge]" so I could miss another Break thus shirking the responsibility of taking care of Jayge off onto my ex-spouse while my personal life took precedence. How about all your skipped scheduled weekend visitations while we lived in Ohio so you could go to parties to drug it up or hang out with your friends as "it's the only weekends I have off!"? Next time, it is in your best interest to make certain you are innocent of something before you go accusing someone else of what YOU do.

Also for your information, Jayge has requested to only spend half of his Summer Breaks with you as you do not do much with him and he is bored constantly. The last three summers he has called me at the beginning of July asking to come home! You think that was enjoyable to me to hear how crest-fallen he was that he HAD TO STAY?

Again, I have told you repeatedly to change your tune. I am certain the courts would be interested in the real reason as to why you always put up such a huge fuss for a kid you barely contact (and no, Constantina's cards, notes, and packages do not count as coming from dad and it pisses him off that she sends the things you should do). They would have to look at it as having different motives entirely - more along the lines of you consistently wanting to be spiteful.

Get over your self made importance in Jayge's life. What you actually do versus what you should do speaks the volume to your complete lack of involvement whether we were in Ohio or in Texas as your actions have NEVER changed! Jayge is not 2.5 years old like he was when you ran out and you can not keep treating him like a trophy to wrestle away from me. He needs you to be a SUPPORTIVE dad...not the selfish and self absorbed jerk you have been for over 12 years.

Jennifer

and for the record, i've NEVER had anyone pick up or drop jayge off for me at the airport. i've always done it myself and i had given brent gustavo as a backup but he's NEVER picked jayge up for me...only with me.

an accident waiting to happen...

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 00:52:16 GMT

yesterday jayge and i were nearly sandwiched by this idiot man driving his b.b.t. (Big Butt Truck) duly with license plates 55XX5H down mason road. mason abruptly loses the third left lane and this jerk acted like he owned the whole road. if God/my guardian angel (you decide) hadn't told me to look left, we would have been sandwiched onto a 4-door silver sedan on my right with the white duly on mt left. i applied brakes and the horn to avoid the guy. he didn't seem to hear me either and just kept going like nothing was amiss. i'm glad the person behind me didn't eat my bumper.

i'm not confident i'm out of the woods with avoiding an accident here either. i have been having a reoccuring dream of being t-boned in the passenger door at one of the major intersections i go through on my way to work. i've taken a hit from that side on 19 october 1992 and it is awful to slam into the door because your whole body hits the door at once. the dream added new stuff the other night where i'm yelling at the ems people to get me at an angle instead of being flat on my back and they are ignoring me completely even though i vow to file suit for ignoring me should they end up killing corban. i was quite furious in the dream. i get to the hospital and i'm still on my back. i yell at these people i'd rather be paralyzed than to lose him. then i woke up. *blah*

i dread my vehicle accident dreams. those tend to wind up real some version or another later. =/

these predictions can be too much for me at times. i'm too accurate with a lot of different things. i have no capability to make a prediction on the spot and they primarily come right as i'm waking up or i'm fully awake.

pruning

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 17:19:10 GMT

i had to manage my list better. i went from 125 to 49 people. i'm just not on here all that much anymore and i'd like a more familiar list! nothing personal intended and many well wishes to all.

=)

i found out who owns the car that i bumped on friday. he works (for EMI) in this office but not for my division (NUS). i went to him this morning apologizing to how much of an idiot i was for not looking at the parking plaque. he was not even worried about it and said he should have added, in his note back to me, a thank you for being so honest i bumped his car. i feel better but worse because i don't want it circulating that i bump cars while parking. we have one geologist that's been banned to drive as he has damaged nearly every vehicle he's rented the last two years. he and i are so not the same and i don't want that association even being BREATHED in this office. i have enough trouble with being blamed for other people's mistakes.

can i have a generic life, please?

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:40:14 GMT

i was wiped out last night. i couldn't drag myself out of bed until 10:17. i made it to work only to back into a vehicle this morning. i just bumped the car, honestly. i left them a note letting the owner know what i did, that i didn't see any damage, and that i was sorry. *sighz*

i'm not going to the appointment today. i'm just going to trust that God knows what He's doing and believe this is all going to be just as He's planned it. =)

jayge was happy with his new phone. he texted me on tuesday for about 1.5 hours straight oohing and aahing over it. i know that full keyboard just delights him. =) it made me feel good that i can still be his "cool" mom. i know it'll get harder as he gets older to be "okay" in his book. heh...just one of the things of being a parent.

no more 3 am missed voice mail messages for me. i've slept solidly for the last two nights for a change. that was awesome. i was dreaming this morning that Oscar had come over and just came to bed. i woke up to him snoring in the dream. hahahaa! that was so weird!

howdy

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 16:53:18 GMT

i've been rather busy trying to start up a jewelry business with buying at pawn shops and selling on eBay or craigslist. it's been slow in selling and great for buying so i have more to sell than i should. =/ lucky for me, i'm not a retailer and have to worry about inventory being too high as i'm not losing money hanging onto items.

i found this one pawn shop that has no clue of what their inventory is aside from diamonds. i bought a "purple/green stone ring" for $50.81. it was an alexandrite and i sold it on eBay (with shipping) for $220.00. another ring they had as "three lavender stones ring" that i bought for $23.10. it was tanzanite and i sold it on eBay (with shipping) for $87.00. I purchased an emerald ring from a different pawn shop for $91.99 and sold it on eBay (with shipping) for $182.50.

i also have a very small wedding to plan as someone (Oscar Cedillo) and i are engaged to be married on 22 june 2008. jenerator and curly came down last weekend and we did some shopping. since this post is public, i'm not going to want to go into details of the shopping to protect the innocent. =)

i've really become actively involved in my church and have some activitiy to do four days a week. sunday is a very long day with serving one service, sitting the other, and then coming back in the evening for a class. it's been very rewarding to say the least and i really enjoy it.

brent is up to his usual accusations. he's mad that i didn't fly jayge up to ohio. sorry, i contacted him and he ignored me until it was too late to buy a ticket. again, that's his fault for not responding to text, e-mail, and a certified letter but he blames me. whatever dude!

okay...i have to get taxes done, do my homework for class, and make christina's easter dress. =) i hope you are all having a great day!!

i feel i was wrong...

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 17:33:07 GMT

i felt i was out of line for e-mailing constantina shortly after i sent that message yesterday. i decided on the way home to write her an apology and offer her some encouragement. here's what i sent:

Dear Constantina -

I want to apologize for that last e-mail. I do not want to get into a habit of having to get Brent to respond by sending you e-mails and voice messages. I want to let you know that I really appreciated that you let Brent know to call me on the 26th of October as he has been avoiding answering his phone or returning messages (voice and text). It saddens me that Brent shirks on his part in having our households run similarly with respect to Jayge. I want to commend you on taking that step over the summer as I am certain that wasn't a very easy e-mail to send to me.

I also want to take the time out in this e-mail to properly thank you as it has been on my heart to do so for some time. You have taken the initiative I have been expecting/asking from Brent since 1997. I also appreciate that it is you that takes time out of your busy day to send cards, write notes, and send packages to Jayge so he can enjoy them. I have noticed that it has been you that does these things and your efforts should be recognized. =)

Thank you for caring about Jayge. I know that you are indeed awesome to send these things to him especially now that you are so busy with the twins.

Take good care of yourself and get in some time for yourself. We tend to forget to take time out for ourselves once we become mothers.

Sincerely,

Jennifer

i want to send her something (like i did for her mother) but i haven't made up my mind on what would be appropriate on top of where to send it. i have reservation that if i sent something to constantina and brent received it first, then she'd never get it. any suggestions?

sighs

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 18:07:01 GMT

yet another ridiculous e-mail i have to send to brent. you can skip this easily as i'm putting it behind an lj cut.

Mr. Brent Angevine –

This e-mail will serve as your final notice regarding Jayge's holiday flight for 2007.

I contacted you on 12 October 2007 and left you a voice mail message on your cellular phone (513.XXX.XXXX) in regards to making arrangements for Jayge's Christmas flight to visit you. It has been six days since I last communicated with you where you stated you should have your schedule from your boss "tomorrow". As of today, 1 November 2007, I have yet to hear back from you as to what finalized arrangements need to be made to accommodate your schedule. Today, I checked continental.com to see what the fares are and the cheapest sits at $421 without taxes and booking fees.

Since I contacted you three weeks ago to make arrangements, I am unwilling to pay for any cost above what the $500 voucher will pay including the $50 unaccompanied minor fee as the voucher would have covered that cost for both of us based upon the price of the last purchased ticket. Your delay in making arrangements has exceeded a reasonable time frame considering that you are aware that arrangements need to be made per our holiday agreements we've been following since 2004. Therefore, any costs above $500 will be your responsibility and will need to be reimbursed to me as I will have to schedule the flight since I received the voucher.

In case you did not write down the dates I told you during our 24 October 2007 phone conversation, Jayge's school will release the students early on 21 December 2007 and does not resume classes until 8 January 2007. I would like to put him on a relatively early flight on 22 December 2007 and 6 January 2008 with the intention of leaving room open for a possible window of time to bump him [either to Houston or from Houston] for another flight voucher to save both of us more money.

Please confirm or give me different dates for this holiday flight if you can not meet what has been suggested. If I do not receive word from you by close of business 5:00PM CST (6:00PM EST) on Monday, 5 November 2007, then I will not book a flight for him to visit you.

An additionalitem that requires your attention is that Jayge has been unable to locate his glasses. I text messaged you, "Jayge needs his glasses. I cleaned his room over the summer & didn't find them. He can't find them here. Can you check there & send them here if they are there?" on 29 October 2007 at 7:46PM CST (8:46PM EST). I have received no response from you. Please respond and send the glasses immediately if they are in your home.

Thank you,

Jennifer Wischer

cc: Attorney
Constantina Angevine

yeah. i really did send it to constantina and an attorney.

true racist stories? not sure but i like the last one

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 18:45:39 GMT

TWO TRUE STORIES ABOUT RACISM

1) I'm sure many of you watched the recent taping of the Oprah Winfrey

Show where her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him if the statements about race he was accused of saying were true. Statements like"..."If I'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish and Asians would buy my clothes, I WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class white people."

His answer to Oprah was a simple "YES". Where after she immediately asked him to leave her show.

My suggestion? Don't buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger. Let's give him what he asked for. Let's not buy his clothes, let's put Him in a financial state where he himself will not be able to afford the ridiculous prices he puts on his clothes. BOYCOTT. PLEASE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ANYONE YOU KNOW. Then send it to the whole community that's not white people and see the result. We have to see the result of unity.

Let's find out if Non-whites really play such a small part in the world. Stop buying any range of their product, perfume, cosmetics, clothes, bags, etc.

2) Scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg and London.

A White woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. "Madam, what is the matter," the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat." "Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this Flight is taken. I will go to see if another place is available." The Hostess went away and t hen came back a few minutes later. "Madam, Just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is a seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class." Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting." She turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class."

At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

Both the above are true stories. If You are against racism, please send this message to all your friends.

/on soapbox

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 18:20:38 GMT

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071018/ap_on_go_co/children_s_health

the link above is yahoo!'s coverage of the lack of turning over bush's veto on children's health bill in the house of representatives. the last line in the article had me fuming:

"...Blacks were more likely than whites to favor overriding Bush's veto."

WHO BLOODY CARES ABOUT RACE/ETHNICITY ON THIS ISSUE?!?!!! *aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!* why do people focus on race/ethnicity when it's not appropriate to the topic? is it really a huge wonder why i really dislike watching the news? =p~

i like my news race-biased, please! ...i don't think so! there are just as many crazy ethnicities than the ones that your local news focuses on during a broadcast (in cincinnati, it's black people; in houston, it's black and mexican people.). there is soooo much that goes on in a city that doesn't get reported because some big-whig is looking for ratings and not reporting things as they really are.

/off soapbox

The Bottled Water Thing

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:50:30 GMT

i haven't gone to the website and don't know who wrote this but i liked the message so i'm posting it openly for all. enjoy!

Lately you may have read press reports and opinions about the bottled water phenomenon and how producing, transporting, refrigerating, recycling and land filling over 30 billion plastic water bottles per year in the U.S. is bad for the environment. Some cities are banning the purchase of bottled water for employees, insisting that these workers drink free tap water instead. Bottled water has seen phenomenal growth in the past two decades. Perrier introduced bottled water to the U.S. in 1978. Today, over 7.5 billion gallons are sold with total sales at approximately $16 billion dollars per year. I'm still just speaking of the United States.

Is bottled water better for you than tap water? When comparing the safety of bottled water to public tap water, the answer is that there is no difference. Private wells could be another thing, depending on the outcome of chemical and bacteriological tests. Dasani and Aquafina, which combined have a 24% market share, the water comes from the municipal tap. The alternative to drinking bottled water might be sugary carbonated beverages or beer (which are 90+% water). Americans still consume twice as much carbonated beverages (mostly in plastic bottles) as bottled water. There is no doubt that bottled water is very convenient when you are on the go.

That being said, what about the environmental effects? Water is heavy. It weighs 8.3 lbs./gal. It has to be transported in trucks and ships across the oceans and our highways. On a weekly basis, it takes 37,800 diesel burning 18-wheelers to haul the water to our stores.

The bottled water phenomenon comes with many paradoxes. One the most trendy brands is Fiji water, which really does come from Fiji. The plant there produces over one million bottles a day. There isn't enough electricity on the island to power the factory, so they have several diesel engines running 24 hours a day, belching out a cloud of diesel soot on this otherwise pristine part of the planet. Half of the cost to consumers of Fiji water is in transportation. The raw plastic comes from China- it takes 16 liters of clean water to blow mold one plastic bottle. Half of the island's residents don't have access to safe, clean water. But on the other hand, you can't have good health without prosperity and this bottling plant employs 250 workers, who now may be able to afford clean water.

In comparison to municipal tap water, bottled water is a luxury item, a choice and an outlet for the well-off to get rid of their money. According to the City of Columbus, their tap water, which is perfectly safe, costs one penny for five gallons. If we compare that cost to a bottle of water at Ohio Stadium, which costs $4.00 for a 20 oz. bottle, you can refill that bottle with Columbus tap water every day for 21.9 years for the same cost. Even if you go to your neighborhood grocery and purchase a 24-pack for $3.99, you could refill one of those bottles 534 times for the same cost.

What separates bottled water from all the other bottled beverages, is that water is the only substance that we, as taxpayers, have created an entire infrastructure to deliver a cheap, high quality, life-sustaining product conveniently to our houses. This infrastructure cost us billions of dollars to install and maintain. You can't get Mountain Dew out of a faucet, at least not yet. Yet we feel that we are somehow in our right minds when we put it in a small bottle, put in on a boat and a truck and move it halfway around the world, at a cost that is thousands of times greater than good old tap water at our kitchen sinks. And we do so happily and willingly. We haven't even touched upon the plastic bottle waste. Don't you find that a tad bit counter intelligent? For the full story on bottled water, click (or copy and paste) on this link: http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/117/features-message-in-a-bottle.html

happy b-day to lil sis!!!

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 22:39:28 GMT

mac & cheese

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 20:21:41 GMT

this sounds pretty tasty to me!

TRIPLE-CHEESE MAC ATTACK
Makes 6 servings

2 cups cottage cheese
1 cup sour cream
1 egg, beaten
1 teaspoon salt
Garlic salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 cups extra-sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
½ cup Swiss cheese, shredded
1 (7-ounce) package elbow macaroni, cooked and drained

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a large mixing bowl, combine cottage cheese, sour cream, egg, salt, garlic salt, and black pepper. Add cheddar and Swiss cheeses and blend well. Cook macaroni as directed on package and drain well.

Add cooked macaroni to cheese mixture and blend until well coated. Add macaroni mixture to a greased 2- or 2½-quart baking dish and bake, uncovered, for 25-30 minutes.

Tungurahua Erupts

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 16:54:02 GMT

whoah! this is soooo beautiful!

funny thing about Geologists...

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 16:49:29 GMT

a co-worker sent me this link in e-mail about geologists. it's a rather funny read. if you don't feel like going to the site, i have the whole thing

Geologists are 'scientists' with an unnatural obsession with rocks and alcohol. Often too intelligent to do monotonous sciences like biology, chemistry, or physics, geologists devote their time to mud-worrying, volcano spotting, fault poking, bouldering, dust-collecting, and high-risk colouring.

One of the main difficulties in communicating with geologists is their belief that a million years is a short amount of time and thier heads are harder than rocks. Consequently, such abstract concepts as "Tuesday Morning" and Lunchtime are completely beyond their comprehension. (This difficulty generates problems particularly when dealing with the girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse and attempting to explain why you were "gone for so long" or why something is taking "so long to occur.")

1 Geologists in Politics

2 Geologists in the Movies

3 Geologists in History

4 Geologists and Alcohol

5 Geologists and Breeding

6 The Great Geology-Geography Wars (1852 - last Tuesday, just after lunch)

7 The Great Geologist-Engineer Controversy

8 How do I become a Geologist

9 How to spot a Geologist

[edit] Geologists in Politics

Geologists tend to be apolitical as they feel that Democrats usually misconstrue their science and Republicans simply refuse to believe in it. Also, they tend to not give a shit about hot political topics, such as global warming, as each one of them can name at least 20 other geologic events that are going to wipe our asses out way before sea level rise and more hurricanes become a real issue. Where they are all going, it is extremely hot anyway.

Geologist see all minute geologic flaws in political discussions on global energy usage, oil prices, ANWAR, mid-east politics, etc. They also see how wrong Hollywood is in all portrayals of geology in particular and science in general, in the movies, and on Fox News. In summary, when it comes to politics, they just don't give a shit. They would rather be hiking in a desert, looking at beach sand that happened 200 million years ago.

The twin-island nation of Trinidad & Tobago in the Caribbean seems to be an exception to the rule when it comes to political apathy of geologists. The current ruling administration is headed by Mr. Patrick Manning who began his career as a geologist for Texaco (now Chevron Corp.). Additionally Mr. Eric Williams Jr., a geophysist had been appointed Minister of Energy. Mr. Williams has since resigned from this post and is under investigation for bribery charges. Two other geologists, Mr. Fuad Khan and Mr. Keith Rowley have also had ministerial posts in the current administration. However, Mr. Khan has also resigned from his post following allegations of corruption.

[edit] Geologists in the Movies

Geologists in the movies are nothing like the real thing. For example, in a volcanic eruption or major earthquake, no geologist is going to give a rat's ass about rescuing a dog even if it does belong to the romantic interest's children. He or she will be far more concerned about the mineralogy of the ash falling from the sky, the viscosity of the lava flow and its movement across the substrate (which may or may not include a village). Apparently immune to the asphyxiating effect of the ash as it turns normal lungs to stone, the geologist will happily jump around lava fields with a camera trying to get a good photo of a lava tube.

Geologists are extremely cool, although they typically do not look like James Bond, being altogether too filthy to ever pass for a suave Englishman. There has been one accurate portrayal of a geologist in a B-rate movie, however. In "Trek of the Moon Beast", the mineralogist turned into a flesh eating monster at night. It is thought that this may be a common occurrence among mineralogists. However, it is a well-established fact that field geologists are Hot. This is not well known because field geologists tend to stay in the field most of the time, where only other field geologists get to see how hot they are.

Another excellent portrayal of a geologist is in the Hollywood blockbuster 'The Core'. In this widely known film the U.S. government has stopped the revolution of the earths core (the magnetised outer liquid state core layer anyway) via the use of sinister 'classified' science and due to the impending doom of all of the world at their hand from superviolent storms and world flooding etc the mighty U.S.A feels it has to restart the revolution of the core via the use of thermo nuclear explosion, obviously. To administer said explosives they use a craft made from Unobtanium, an alloy which is scarcely believable, ahem, available I meant to say. (this film should not at all be considered an allegory on America's world policy at present, honestly, ok, you've got me, it is!) Suffice to say they all live happily ever after and the few billion tonnes of liquid outer core just plays along with no ill after effects or sequential flood type volcanism, the joys of being a Geologist. (** Dr. Josh Keyes-- the "geologist" character is actually a Seismologist-- which is totally different. Seismologists study how energy propagates THROUGH the Earth and don't actually care about rocks at all. They also don't drink beer nearly as well. The whole "playing the trumpet to a piece of granite" thing.... not so much).

Geologists were also portrayed in 'Armageddon', although a real geologist is quick to note how gravity reengaged on the asteroid when the drillers (geologist wannabes) start throwing the boring casings.

A really good example for a retired geologist can be found in "SIX FEET UNDER". He was married to 7 times and became crazy in the end

Another atypical geologist from the movies is South Parks character Randy Marsh, who is the father of Stan Marsh. Randy Marsh is named after South Park creator's, Trey Parkers, own father, Randy Parker, who was also a geologist. Randy displays typical geologist tendancies from being called a 'scientist' but actually being of little use in many situations and having a drinking problem

[edit] Geologists in History

Geology began in Edinburgh 2.420MA when celebrated physicist James Clerk Maxwell built a time machine, and went back to Scotland to give James Hutton the idea. Hutton then went to the Galapagos Islands and passed on the idea to Charles Darwin. Hutton then invented the volcano, and modern geology was born. Anne Heche, one of the few famous female geologists, made her name when she discovered the W of Gondwanaland on an expedition to Brazil. Subsequently, while Maxwell was distracted by an argument with Niels Bohr over the exact place in history for Avogadro's number, Waldemar Lindgren stole the time machine and has since used it to visit every historic mine and mining camp in the Western U.S., and in fact he continues to do so to this day. This is the reason you will see Waldemar Lindgren's name on every publication regarding mining in the western U.S., and the reason why his published writings exceed nearly 200 titles, not counting discussions, reviews, more than 1,000 abstracts, in addition to authoring numerous pajama related advertisments for various trade show publications and haberdasheries in his spare time. Geologists had a revival in the late 23rd century when the great Pete Kokelaar emerged from a crater on Montserrat and proclaimed himself an ignimbrite.

[edit] Geologists and Alcohol

There is a considerable, and still growing body of scientific literature that suggests that geologists are in fact the world's first alcohol-based life form. Owing to a crucial imbalance in blood electrolyte levels (possibly caused by overexposure to bad rock puns) most find it necessary to imbibe vast quantities of alcoholic beverages at every opportunity. If you ever encounter a geologist who is sober after 6pm, this person is an imposter: possibly an alien; probably a geophysicist, marine geographer or hydrologist. Alcoholism is an acceptable, even socially beneficial, disease for an active geologist. The mark of a true geologist is the ability to draw up a systematic and colour coded diagrammatic representation of good beer distribution across the globe, using no more than a tatty beer mat and burnt twig.

Therefore the phrase "I am not an alcoholic, I am a geologist" has become quite common within many student body's to explain their metamorphism from an organic based life form to a alcohol-based one.

Alternative conversation topics might include: a detailed consideration of the relative merits of differing brands of gin (including those brands that may only be termed "gin" as "bug-infused lighter fuel" might look bad on the risk assessment forms); whether a hangover is very useful or absolutely essential to the correct practice of geology in the field; and how many crates of beer does it take to cause the average 4x4 to roll over/dump its rear axle/spontaneously combust.
It has been observed that undergraduate geology students are berated and whipped with bootlaces by their lecturers if they do not partake in late night drinking on field trips (exception: university of Western Australia). Returning to university without liver-ache is frowned upon by most (exception: university of Western Australia). Early mornings in the field are usually fueled by coffee; however, water is optional in the brewing process. In the absence of water, coffee will be brewed with leftover beer. In the absence of beer, vodka, scotch, gin or tequila; coffee grounds may be chewed dry. This perhaps, is the reason it is impossible to communicate successfully with a geologist in the field.

Alcohol is also essential on field activities, either on late night scientific discussions or cold-weather camping. Alcohol is used as an essential renewable fuel source for enlightened or hot topics and for surviving in cold weather as a human "internal combustion" liquid fuel. It's known of geologists that have survived on a pint of whiskey on the middle of the desert or in way-below freezing temperatures.

Alcohol is an essential companion and tool in the field (as well as out), just as important as the rock hammer, Brunton compass, and hand-lens.

[edit] Geologists and Breeding

The prospect of month upon month of fieldwork in remote places has led to some interesting evolutionary peculiarities amongst this species. Amidst only rocks and alcohol, with often long dark nights eliminating the possibility of the former, and leaving only the latter, resourceful geologists fill their time intermingling with other geologists. During this time, upcoming geologists earn their "wings" (or more appropriately, their "hammer") by fulfilling one or more of the following electives:

a) Date a fellow geologist

b) Sleep with a fellow geologist

c) Have an affair with a geologist

d) Have an affair with a student geologist

e) Marry a fellow geologist

f) Marry a current or former student geologist

g) Date/Marry or have an affair with a driller

h) Marry a purveyor of alcohol

I) Sleep with a biologist, one can tell the other how to get "rock hard"

Combinations, or multiple repetitions of the above electives result in the true seasoning of a geologist. An informal survey of geologists at 25 of the top 30 geology programs in the US News and World Report 2005 rankings found that 84% of faculty and 78% of graduate students fulfilled at least two of the above electives. Of tenured faculty surveyed, 98% had fulfilled at least three of the above.

[edit] The Great Geology-Geography Wars (1852 - last Tuesday, just after lunch)

For eons, animosity has existed between those folk who understand what an eon is and those who need help tying their bootlaces before a day in the field. However, the most recent escalation of violence between the two warring tribes was sparked when, over a jolly fine supper in the Atheneum Club (turbot und dill, en croute avec carpet sautee), Sir Roderick Impey Murchison was heard to say "Your mum, what!" to Dr. David Livingstone. The avid bug-huffer retired in high dudgeon and went off to sulk in Africa for years and years and years, only returning to civilization when Murchison was safely insane. And dead. In his absence, the serried ranks of the geographers could barely muster a token resistance to the all-powerful, all-conquering, and devilishly handsome (yes, even Adam Sedgwick) geologists. Final defeat came at the blood-soaked Battle of Roger Moor (similar to Marston Moor, but a bit smoother, and orange) where the geographers were ignominiously routed owing to the superior firepower of the geologists' flint-lock machine guns (but lets face it, any weapon with a rock integral to its design was always going to terrify the pants off a geographer). Annual tribute is paid by the geographers in recognition of this defeat, hence the odd obsession with tributaries often displayed by members of their race.

[edit] The Great Geologist-Engineer Controversy

Geologists, secure in their vague estimates have forever conflicted with engineers and their need for a definitive, quantifiable answer since the building of the pyramids. The ancient Egyptian engineers had determined that the Great Pyramid would require 16.356732519874886510 metric tons of stone blocks to construct. The ancient Egyptian geologists yawned and disagreed. When it turned out that only 16.356732519874886509 metric tons were required, the geologists sneered and said, "I told you your calculations were wrong." The geologists, having been proven correct and superior, have been envied by engineers since that fateful day.

Geology, being an art as much as a science, has always baffled and worried engineers, hence the engineers' defensive weapons of pocket protectors, slide rules, black socks, and eventually computers. But these have been no match for the geologist's rock hammer, hand lens, and Brunton compass (Note that the Microsoft software engineers did not even include Brunton in Word's spellcheck dictionary).

While geologists have provided mankind with massive sources of energy such as coal, gas, and flatulence, engineers have been relegated to merely designing tanks to hold these natural resources.

Geologists also outlive engineers, who bored by their pitiful existence often forsake engineering for senior management and them have to deal with geologists who have become very skilled in manager-bating. A complex art that revolves around telling managers almost what they want to know but phasing it in jargon and vaguaries to cause minor untable mental episodes, periods of delusion followed by depression. Many engineers end their days in cosy little rooms playing with amateur radio or trying to coax a new computer to boot up in CP/M.

Geologists by way of their vastly superior intellect and immeasurable widsom, often bypass the senior managentent phase and are simply called upon to sit on boards and chair companies, whilst engineers still have to actually do things to earn money.

[edit] How do I become a Geologist

To gain employment as a geologist you must first find someone willing to hire one. This, as you may well imagine, is very difficult. Here are some ideas; First, you could actually learn geology at university and then seek employment at the same university. A second, and far more practical, method is to skip university and go watch some geologists at work until you get the hang of it, and then go to an oil company and hire out to them. You will first be interviewed by science staff so make sure you bone up on the science basics like the Scientific Method and Avogadro's something or other. In particular you should be aware of the Geologic Method. In a nutshell the Geologic Method is to go find some place where oil is being drilled (we call this a "find"). Then get someone (we call them consultants) to spread the word that you started the whole play. Finally, seek speaking engagements promoting the play. This will make you an invaluable assett at the company. If you do much of this you should end up as an Exploration Manager in short order and you will no longer have any concerns with geology.

[edit] How to spot a Geologist

To spot a geologist in the wild, look for:

Hand-lens, compass, pen-knife, handcuffs etc. tied round neck with string.
Someone with a beard and Sandals... Jesus was a Geologist (actually, carpenters back then were also stonemasons, so there is some truth to that statement)
Ownership of a pet rock (in the case of palaeontologists, this will be their closest friend) often found hanging from keys.
Overenthusiasm on the subject of dinosaurs.
Someone explaining to airport security that a sidewall core covered in gunpowder residue isn't really a weapon.
Takes photos, includes people only for scale, and has more pictures of rock hammer and lens cap than of his family.
Someone with a collection of beer cans/bottles that rivals the size of his rock collection.
Lights a cigarette with a handlens.
Someone who brings beer instead of water when hiking.
Someone whose lunch consists of rocks, instead of ordinary bread.
Someone who consumes tonsil-killing chili for dinner every night of the week, and warms it up in a can on the drill rig engine block.
Someone whose child is trained to know the geologic timescale before it can walk.
Often has hair in a pony-tail (this applies to male or female geologists).
Someone who considers a "recent event" to be anything that has happened in the last hundred million years.
Someone who licks and/or scratches & sniffs rocks or in case of china clay will eat it to prove its perfectly safe.
Someone who eats dirt and claims to be "getting an estimate of grain size"
Someone who will willingly cross an eight-lane interstate on foot to determine if the outcrops are the same on both sides.
Someone who can pronounce the word molybdenite correctly on the first try.
Someone who has hiked 6 miles to look at a broken fence that was "offset by a recent earthquake".
Someone who says "this will make a nice Christmas gift" while out rock collecting.
Someone who thinks a "sexual exploit" is lying naked on an outcrop so the satellite will photograph them on the next pass.
Someone who hires student assistants with an eye to whether they can run slower so the bears get them first.
Someone who can jump start a campfire in wet weather with the judicious application of a beer fart.
Someone who from personal experience knows the difference between Arctic grade and summer grade diesel fuel.
Someone who even on an average day in the field can make Indiana Jones look like a bit of a klutzy wuss
They look at scenery and tell you how it formed
Pockets tend to be filled with bits of rock.
The rockery moved into their spare room.
They have more pairs of hiking boots than shoes.
Wears hiking boots constantly,even for formal functions, occasionally sandals with (obligatory) socks
They think of woodlice as trilobites but would tell anyone off who said so.
When on a beach will collect shells and try to explain their muscle scars to you.
Someone who prefers to explain the sequence of events shown in a cliff face to sunbathing
Their collection of petrified wood samples are stacked like cord wood.
They plan extra time on trips to investigate road cuts along the way.
Almost crashes his/her car looking at road cuts while driving.
Often explains how their boozy coffee with whipped cream resembles a layered igneous complex
Someone who knows the phylum, kingdom, and genus of every ancient creature lodged in stone, some of which look nothing like an animal, but can't remember his mother's, or his wife's, birthday.
Someone who uses his geologic hammer to halve a boiled egg.
Someone who modifies his one yard pace to one meter in order to simplify pace-and-compass mapping.
Their radioactive ore specimen collection glows in the dark. It is so bright you can:
- use it to read by.
- illuminate your front yard.
- use it as a landing beacon.
- See it from Mars.
Can identify the chemical formula for Cummingtonite...and chuckles like a junior-high kid every time.
Someone stuck on the side of the road without a spare tire because it was removed to make more room for samples.
When asked what this rock is says, "Leverite, so leave her right there."
Someone who walks out of a bathroom and asks if you noticed the fossils in the stall dividers.
Someone who walks into an art museum and looks at the floors and columns commenting on the stylolites and fossils, rather than looking at the paintings.
Their shorts expose way more leg than you ever wanted to see.
Someone who rocks the party and is the schist everywhere they go.
A person who can say, "Gneiss Cleavage" or talks about slaty cleavage and means it in a non-derogatory sense.
Someone who takes special interest in your granite countertops in the kitchen and after a few minutes will even produce handlenses before giving other guests an igneous petrology lesson.
Someone who gets really upset when the countertop, which is obviously mafic/aphanitic/metamorphic, is called granite and takes 20 minutes to tell you why your wrong.
A person who can’t use a street map because it doesn’t have contour lines.
They're all so gneiss

If you remain unsure, ask the subject to draw an annotated diagram of a trilobite. A true geologist will immediately reach for their waterproof notebook - this is your opportunity for escape.

. now, i have only skimmed through all that is listed but i did chuckle at what i read. i found "Someone who licks and/or scratches & sniffs rocks or in case of china clay will eat it to prove its perfectly safe" especially funny as that was something i had to get across to amftx that he had to do in order to identify a rock. i couldn't tell, by his picture, whether a rock was halite or quartz. the only way to tell was for him to lick it! =) it wound up being halite (or salt to the rest of you).

she was so cute!

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 17:03:46 GMT

http://www.picture.com/voteforme/photovote1.asp?PID=1435059

doctor, doctor, gimme the news!

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 20:18:08 GMT

more than two months ago (25 june to be exact), i asked a co-worker for her woman doctor's information. i have lost it three times and had to ask for it again yesterday. *slaps forehead* i just procrastinate when it comes to woman doctor appointments because endometriosis stuff sucks (usually in the form of, "let's operate!", "you need to be on the pill," and my personal favourite, "you need to get pregnant."). i was good though and i made an appointment for 5 september at 11:00am after putting the information into my phone.

things are about to get interesting.

Rhythm Of The Heat - Peter Gabriel

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 18:04:47 GMT

Rhythm Of The Heat

Looking out the window
I see the red dust clear
High up on the red rock
Stands the shadow with the spear

The land here is strong
Strong beneath my feet
It feeds on the blood
It feeds on the heat

The rhythm is below me - the rhythm of the heat
The rhythm is around me - the rhythm has control
The rhythm is inside me - the rhythm has my soul
The rhythm of the heat (x4)

Drawn across the plainland to the place that is higher
Drawn into the circle that dances round the fire
We spit into our hands and breathe across the palms
Raising them up high held open to the sun
(x2)

Self-conscious, uncertain
I'm showered with the dust
The spirit enters into me
And I submit to trust

Smash the radio - no outside voices here
Smash the watch - cannot tear the day to shreds
Smash the camera - cannot steal away the spirits
The rhythm is around me
The rhythm has control
The rhythm is inside me
The rhythm has my soul

transformers movie

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 16:11:01 GMT

we went to see the transformers movie last night. the visuals are very good and the story is *meh* at times. it definitely takes a while to get rolling. it's a 2 hours and 24 minutes long movie with a few good laughs here and there.

i definitely wasn't disappointed.

GO SEE IT! ;)

sucks

Fri, 04 May 2007 19:40:57 GMT

i'm having a clearly busted/broken day. i didn't even charge my time that i worked this morning. i took the day off and still had overtime. that's what i get for doing a one-day driving trip to haskell, texas and back. overtime for today would have been nice but i'm not feeling my oats today as i'd already put in 45 hours before going into the office.

clearly, yet again, brent is feeling his oats and needed to threaten not only in taking jayge away but making me move back to ohio. now, i moved to get away from the bullshit so there's no way i want to move back. there are things against me but there are also things for me should brent really decide to actually wear balls instead of strutting with his balls out and not taking action as he has for the last 10+ years.

jayge is on my poop list for really making today difficult.

i don't want to continue on a huge entry so if you want the specs, then you can call. i think i've cried enough this morning out of anger that i can stay composed.

squeaker squeak squeaken

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 17:27:15 GMT

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070424/ap_on_he_me/lethal_injection

solution? let's just go back to hanging people to execute them. that's the cheapest way to do it. sheesh. someone who goes out there and hacks another person to bits, spreading the remains over several states, gets zero sympathy from me if their lethal injection 'cocktail' isn't mixed right. hey...if killers were killed the same way they took out their victims, it would give pause as to think would i want this done to me? just a thought...

work is moving along at a fast pace and i'm having to learn a lot of things. i'm working a lot under another jr. geologist and a different PM but it's good to change things up. =)

i e-mailed brent about summer visitation and related stuff because he ignored my phone call and subsequent voice message. he's so mature that way but this is nothing new.

corteo was excellent as were the seats we had! we were a little late but someone did a lot of hurrying and we missed maybe the first 10 minutes. at the end of the show i was asked, "when's the next one coming?" hheheee! i think someone is hooked (as are the kids)! maybe we'll hit las vegas for zumanity? >:)

i finally have a couch! unfortunately, it cost me a sprained wrist and a trip to the ER that i hadn't figured into the final price. it's this one:

i sent someone and a friend of mine flowers on friday. i did it as a just because kind of thing. if i know your work or home address, then i might target you next! =)

just run...

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 17:53:22 GMT

i'm in a detached mood today. i have this feeling that something rather unpleasant is about to happen. all i can say is "oh well."

*shrugs* that's me...think about the worst, plan for the worst, and just deal with it.

=/

groovey baby!

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 19:55:17 GMT

sweet! i purchased tickets for someone, someone's kids, jayge and myself to go to see corteo on the 17th. this will be really cool since they haven't been to a show whereas jayge and i have. i bought the tickets for a steal!!! 30% off e-mail invite because i'm a cirque member. 0_0 i'm jazzed because i bought some rockin seats too!

let's see...someone slipped that 4 letter little L-word to me on monday night. we went to a pub up the street for the NCAA game. i said it back but i'm not counting this instance. when i pussyfooted about it, he doesn't deny something slipped because he "remembers things were said" but he didn't hear me. soo... =P~

i let a freudian slip out about "our" place to a co-worker. hahahaaaa! i was amused and said, "did that just slip out of my mouth?!" she laughed at me.

annual raises came about and i received the same as last year. this tells me that i didn't do what was expected out of me so that i need to work even harder this year. i'm jazzed about that (working harder) too since i've branched off these last 3 months immensely and i'm taking strides quickly. :) i do not want to be a PM (project manager) and i'll not make great money (because i don't want to be a PM) but that's fine until i get my Masters and PG (professional geologist) license.

i've never heard back from brent about that letter. oh well. i'm glad he's not attempting to make it a pissing contest. i just hope he didn't blow off what i said. I need to get on him about the insurance card for jayge since he changed jobs to the FBI. jayge says that he's an office worker. *shrugs* whatev...

i'll be headed to plano again for the morning on the 11th. sindell357, do think you could swing lunch? ;)

plans are still needing to be hashed over for a trip to Austin but the weather needs to freaking cooperate!!!

TTFN!!!

open letter...

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 00:04:42 GMT

dear brent -

i can't be jayge's daddy and mommy anymore. i hate what you're doing and i hate the lies i have to tell jayge about how great you are because of 'the divorced peoples rules.'

i bought jayge a cellular phone so that you could call him directly and the last incoming or missed phone call from your numbers was on december 28, 2006. before that, you called at thanksgiving (one month). before that, was when he arrived safely in houston from cincinnati (three months). jayge needs to hear from you more frequently than that.

when on the phone, you need to ask him about his grades/classes. you see, if you actually contacted the school to keep yourself abreast of his progress as you are allowed to do, then you'd know he's failing all his classes except gym and maybe orchestra. allowing him prattle on about video games and video game characters is not a real conversation.

jayge suffers because you are not there for him other than the 'recreational parent' on holidays and breaks. you can't be bothered even pick up the phone and return a phone call? thanks but please take your "i treat him like gold" parade and shove it because that parade is just you blowing your own horn for attention and unearned attaboys. there are people out there that would give anything to have a child that they can engage and you don't bother too often.

i am not jayge's father so start acting like one. this wishy-washy act you've been putting on for the last 8 years is a farce of fatherly love. i pray that you gain the wisdom to do something about it before jayge disowns you forever as you have done with your own father. you did not end the cycle of the son learning to hate the unavailable father; you've added another generation.

jennifer...jayge's MOTHER

work out your finances for less stress!

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 17:17:45 GMT

i stayed home today. i took advantage of the AA's germophobia but at the same time i did not lie about my symptoms or circumstances. yes, i probably have a low-grade fever and one of the kids was sick but taking that all into consideration, i probably could have been in the office today but i just didn't want to suffer throughout the day with everybody hearing me. i am working though so no time off with pay.

as i have done a lot of catching up in LJ, it seems as though the friends list has a lot of stress going on so i'm taking the time out to give all of you warm fuzzy hugz! go get a hot chocolate and take a break for 5 minutes to just give yourself a little bit of you time. i sayz so, so go do it! ;) i've been sending out prayers too. :)

someone is going to purchase a copy of this past sunday's service. sitting there in the powerhouse church and hearing that message about family, family structure, and tying it positively to the bible was just amazing. i am looking forward to have that to watch over and over again. the pastor there, g.f. watkins (i finally remembered his name), has a very candid service as in being open to relate anything that's happened in his personal life as applicable to the service. he's been open with the ugly as with the positive and i really like that. he's a real person and not some pastor making you flip pages and telling you to do as God tells you. i've needed to see this and it helped me get over the dislike for an organized religion. i can also 'get away with' taking jayge because it is non-denomination. i will need to look up a sister church for him in ohio because i can tell he really likes what he's learning.

i want to share [with those 5 or so of you that still read my entries] more of the financial tools i've been given to help manage my finances. this source came from a co-worker/friend and i've read to chapter 6 of this book your money map by howard dayton. this book is very interesting and gives sound ways to look at your debt and what you need to do to get out of debt. they also have a website at CrownMoneyMap.org. now, i haven't visited the site other than to gank the link properly but i have plans to visit it in the next couple of days.

someone has also been dragging me to the gym enough that i now drag him to go. *laughs* i've gotten to where i do upper-body weights every time in addition to at least 1.5 miles on the treadmill (sometimes i am doing both at the same time). i've been pushing myself in picking up the pace to a jog for stretches of my 'mileage' to where i can put in 1/4 of a mile jogging. the jogging isn't non-stop [for now] but done in roughly three pulses. :) i was doing this at a 3% incline but i noticed i really bulked my ~~thighs~~ legs so i now do not use the incline function. i haven't lost weight or inches but i at least feel better with exercising.

i'm really hoping the hotel in palestine has a small gym so i don't miss on working out. if there isn't a gym, i'm going to have to go take walks/jogs in the area. oh yeah...i have fieldwork for the next two weeks in palestine,tx for NASA. :)

time to work!